97% Effective

Learn more about Michael Wenderoth, Executive Coach: www.changwenderoth.com

Who has your back at work? Do you feel like you’re constantly walking a tightrope – high up, with the spotlight on you, and no net? That’s how many people, including senior executives, describe their experience at work – and what led Devon McConnell, an executive coach and psychotherapist, to explore what drives that stress and burnout. In this episode of 97% Effective, host Michael Wenderoth speaks with Devon about her research and coaching work examining how key relationships at work – especially with our boss – shape stress, burnout, and performance. They discuss what individuals and organizations can do to better navigate conflict and pressure at work, and why stress is so often driven by relationships rather than workload. Devon explains attachment theory in clear, practical terms, shares techniques to help you manage relational conflict and regain a sense of agency, and offers a thoughtful look at how AI could improve feedback and reduce unnecessary workplace anxiety. You’ll leave this episode with a clearer understanding of what’s really driving your stress, new ways to navigate tough relationships and conflict at work —and, at a minimum, knowing that Devon and Michael will always have your back.

SHOW NOTES:

• The trend Devon noticed in her executive coaching practice that led her to research stress and burnout
• Attachment science: what it really says, why it matters across different spheres of life, and how it’s often oversimplified
• Why having key figures as safe havens enables us to explore, take risks, and perform under pressure
• The dependency paradox: why being able to rely on others actually increases autonomy and independence
• How attachment science helps explain why trust—especially in leaders—is so critical
• Why your personality is not fixed: how we develop attachment strategies early in life, and how new experiences can reshape them
• The connection to Amy Edmondson’s work on psychological safety—and why different language (e.g., trust vs. pyschological safety) often lands better with senior executives
• A leadership metaphor that resonates: the importance of being a steady pilot in turbulent conditions
• How emotional labor—not workload—is a major driver of burnout
• “The higher you rise, the more how you manage yourself and your relationships defines your success—and how you feel about your success”
• Practical tools from Devon, including:
• o A powerful daily question: “What conversation are you not having—and with whom?”
• o How to diagnose whether your boss is a primary source of your stress—and why that awareness matters
• o How to use the Karpman Drama Triangle to understand conflict dynamics and make small shifts to regain agency
• Navigating dependency, influence, and workplace politics more effectively
• A bright spot: how AI — used thoughtfully — could improve feedback and reduce workplace stressors
• Why conflict-avoidant bosses can cause more harm than openly difficult and abusive ones
• Devon’s latest work developing and testing an AI-enabled 360 feedback tool
• How her training in psychology and therapy has shaped her work as an executive coach

BIO AND LINKS:

Devon Forster McConnell is an executive coach and psychotherapist who works with CEOs and senior leaders on presence, influence, conflict management, and sustaining performance under pressure. She also researches, writes, and hosts the My Robot Boss podcast on the future of leadership in an AI-driven world and interventions for burnout and anxiety. Prior to coaching, Devon spent 20 years in Fortune 50 leadership roles at BlackRock and Wells Fargo Advisors. Devon is based in San Francisco, where she works with leaders and organizations globally.

Connect with Devon:

• Devon on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/devonmcconnell/
• Website: https://devonmcconnell.com
• Podcast: My Robot Boss: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/my-robot-boss/id1831832043

Research & Frameworks Referenced:

• Devon’s research presentation at the Columbia Coaching Conference (Judith E. Glaser Award finalist): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOnDg1ZQ2_s
• Attachment theory: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory
• The dependency paradox (randomized controlled trial): https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17279849/
• Psychological safety (Amy Edmondson): https://amycedmondson.com/psychological-safety/
• The Karpman drama triangle: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle
• Dr. Becky Kennedy (Good Inside): https://www.goodinside.com/about/

More from 97% Effective:

• Michael’s book, Get Promoted: What You’re Really Missing at Work That’s Holding You Back:
• https://tinyurl.com/453txk74
• Watch this episode on the 97% Effective YouTube channel:
• https://www.youtube.com/@97PercentEffective